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Where do I fit?

todayMarch 7, 2020 15 1 5

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Hi there! Hope this finds you well and safe today and I thank you in advance for reading this article. As life goes on, as it does for all, there is also death that pops it’s head up now and then to remind us this world is not our forever home. Where there is life, there is death, and it hit my family this last week. My uncle, that had been dealing with health issues for a while, passed away last Tuesday. He was able to make plans and decide on his own that he wanted to stop treatment and go home to the Lord. He was tired of dealing with the bodily problems that were getting worse and being a preacher of the Gospel, he knew he had something better waiting on him. My family on my Mom’s side are extremely religious. If you read some of my previous articles, I have shared my Pentecostal background and how that greatly affected my upbringing. My uncle of course was a Pentecostal preacher so I had to go see my Pentecostal family at the Pentecostal church and I wanted to share my thoughts about the day.

My uncle’s parents, my grandparents, were fanatic’s when it came to the Pentecostal religion with the belief and standards. My Papa was a preacher having various churches over the years. Their children, my mother being one of them, were raised under the strictest guidance of the religion and it stayed with all 4 of them into their adulthood. When it came to the grandchildren, myself in this group, this was not the case. Out of the 10 grandchildren, only 3 have stayed with the Pentecostal religion. Not to say they have all walked away from God, but from the suppression and guidelines that went with the religion, not necessarily the belief. I am of the group that no longer claim to be Pentecostal. I definitely still have a strong belief in God, and Jesus His Son, but I no longer live under the guidelines of that religion. This being said, it felt quite awkward to be around my family and being a funeral, it was weird anyway to try to talk to people like you really know them. Even though you are blood to someone, it doesn’t mean you know who they are and your basically talking to a stranger.

Being a Christian, there are things I no longer do in my life because of the stronghold they had on me. I do not claim I am perfect and have it all figured out, but I have reached a point that most of the world no longer interests me. With the world in the state that it is, things are too serious and it’s too late in the game to get caught by the tangles of the world. So I don’t fit into a lot of the world’s molds that make you acceptable. I also don’t fit into my family’s mold of who I should be or what I should believe. When I go out into the world or I go around my religious and judgmental family, I’m always questioning where do I fit? How do I connect or even get to know these people when I know we have nothing in common? It’s not only at these times do I question my place, but it’s at different times throughout my life.

There were 2 things that got me through the day. Of course there was a big family reunion with cousins and younger second cousins. I was hanging with the kids most the time. I am a big kid myself and I love children and being around them. When I say kids, the ages were from 8 to 16, but the innocence of children is so God like. It is beautiful and I love to be around such hope and happiness that come from children. The second thing was I had to resolve that these people will think what they will but I don’t serve them. I serve a God that put something in me no one else has and He is the one to put together my puzzle of life. He sees the big picture of who I am for His kingdom and when I feel I don’t fit, I have to be patient that He will adjust the situation that I fall into place. He will never leave me or forsake me. He loves me because I am His child. I may not have my pieces in all the right places, but God is putting me together and it will all come together through His love.

God Bless You, Krisha Hall 03/07/20

Written by: Krisha Hall

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